Rebuilding Habits After Setbacks
I've heard from many of you that you are trying to develop new habits, or to re-engage with ones you've had before (exercise, drink more water, regularly read, meditate, cook fresh meals every day, etc) and I've been doing the same - I've had to re-engage with my habit of exercise.
I am not a natural exerciser and I'm a bit jealous of the members of The Coaching Circle who regularly go for a run or do yoga. I generally dislike all forms of exercise, except the Latin and Ballroom dance class I used to go to (that's sadly now stopped). However, I was feeling crappy in my body and with such a sedentary job I knew I had to do some exercise.
Last year I got myself into the habit of exercising at least 5 times a week at home. I felt better in myself and my clothes were more comfortable (I don't use scales, so it's not about losing weight as such). However back in February I had a virus that knocked me out for almost a month. Then I injured my knee in about March which has only just healed. I have regular issues with my neck and shoulder and on and on it went. The excuses (some genuine), mounted up and my exercise became sporadic at best.
At the end of September I realised I needed to start walking the walk and not just talking about habits.
There are lots of tips about how to make something a habit (Atomic Habits* by James Clear is particularly good at this). He talks about the 4 elements of creating a habit…
The cue - the trigger, the information that you see that promises a reward.
The craving - the necessary motivation to perform the new behaviour.
The response - the actual new behaviour or thought you want to do. Requires you to be capable of performing it and the craving needs to be strong enough.
The reward - the gratifying result of doing the response. The craving is satisfied.
…and how things like habit stacking (where you attach a new habit to an existing one) can help.
Today, I’m going to share how I’ve got myself back into exercising 5-6 days a week plus another tip you can try if this doesn’t work and both are pretty simple.
Firstly - me
I am heavily driving by rewards.
So for me, I had to look for something that I could reward myself with for doing the exercise (that definitely wasn’t chocolate or spending money). It was a case of a) what am I not allowed to have until I’ve done 30minutes of exercise and b) when I’ve done this exercise, what do I get to enjoy?
Having recently subscribed back to Disney+ to watch Agatha All Along (which I haven’t started yet, so no spoilers please), I remembered one of my favourite shows was on Disney and I started to rewatch it. Then I realised I could use this as my reward for exercising - no new episode until I’ve done my 30minutes. I love the show so much that this is a big enough reward and motivation (the cliffhangers still get me, so I’m always desperate to watch another episode).
It’s only been about 2 weeks of doing this and already I’m back into the regular exercising habit, I can feel a difference in my body and am noticing my ability begin to slowly improve. Along with the promise of a new episode every day I exercise, the results are now also becoming a motivator.
If you’re not reward motivated, try this…
A similar technique is to only allow yourself to do ‘a thing’ whilst you’re performing the habit you want to embed. eg You can only listen to a certain podcast, whilst you’re doing your exercise / going for a walk / doing the ironing.
I know several people go for a much longer walk this way than they would otherwise have - because they’re making the experience more enjoyable.
And finally…
If neither of these are right for you, then check in with the motivation behind your desire to form this habit. Sometimes we feel we ‘should’ do something, but the want in us isn’t enough to drive our behaviour or thoughts. In this case, is this really the habit you want to spend your time on?
If you’d like more ideas about how to form habits, or you need some support or accountability to get you started, then come and sit with us over in The Coaching Circle Community.
*this link takes you to my bookshop so if you bought it from here it would cost you no more, but I would get a little bit.
